Has Love Gone Out of Style?

I toss my phone away after seeing the thousandth lazy “Happy Vday, babe!” post on Instagram. Valentine’s Day is cute, but lately, it has been feeling like an exhausting ritual of empty declarations of love. Red roses, heart emojis, matching pajama pictures, expensive dinners, giant stuffed bears. It all blurs together into one highly curated, highly filtered performance.

It makes me wonder: has Valentine’s Day lost something?

Historically, Valentine’s Day wasn’t always about Instagram stories and $200 dinner reservations. The holiday traces back to St. Valentine and evolved over centuries into a day centered on handwritten notes, small tokens of affection, and private expressions of care. In the 18th and 19th centuries, people exchanged letters and handmade cards. Even in elementary school classrooms today, there’s something sweet and simple about decorating a shoebox and passing out little paper valentines to everyone; no hierarchy, no exclusivity, no pressure. Just candy hearts and “Be Mine” puns.

Somewhere between childhood and high school, though, the tone shifted.

Classic "soft launch" example - Photo Credit: Pinterest

In high school, Valentine’s Day can start to feel less like a celebration of love and more like a public ranking system. Who got the most Candygrams during third period? Who posted the most elaborate date? Who soft-launched a relationship with a bouquet pic? Who actually hit it off with their match at the Stevenson Match-making event? For people in relationships, the pressure to plan something impressive can feel intense. For people who are single, it can amplify loneliness in a way that feels very loud and very public. It’s not hard to see why some people have started rolling their eyes at the holiday altogether.

There’s also the consumerism piece. Stores start pushing pink and red merchandise on January 2nd. Giant teddy bears that will be thrown away in a month. Overpriced chocolates. Price fixed menus. The message becomes: if you really care, you’ll spend. And if you don’t spend enough, what does that say? No wonder Valentine’s Day can start to feel hollow. But here’s the thing: I don’t think the solution is to abandon it.

Maybe what’s in decline isn’t the holiday itself, but the way we’ve come to perform it. We’ve reduced it to romantic love and social media validation, when it could be so much broader than that. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about having a significant other. It can be about appreciating your friends, your family, your teammates, your teachers – anyone who makes your life warmer.

Stevenson First Friday Valentine's Event

At Stevenson, even something like Valentine’s Day matchmaking (whether serious or just for fun) shows that people still crave connection. We joke about it, we pretend not to care, but secretly I think we’re all a little curious – we still want to be seen.

So maybe instead of declaring Valentine’s Day “overrated” or “cringe,” we could rethink it. What if we brought back handwritten notes? What if we normalized giving flowers to friends? What if we focused less on posting and more on actually spending time with people we care about? We should shift the focus from showing off love for validation to acting genuinely from the heart.

Yes, Valentine’s Day can amplify loneliness. It can feel commercialized or be awkward. But it can also be a built-in reminder to express appreciation, which is something most of us don’t do enough, whether it’s toward romantic or platonic relationships. Maybe the downfall of Valentine’s Day isn’t inevitable; all it needs is a reset.

Because beneath the pricey pink glitter and Instagram captions, the core idea is still worth celebrating: love, in all its forms. And that’s not something that should ever go out of style.