Spotify Wrapped Judgement Day
As the year comes to a close, it’s time for my favorite pop culture event: Spotify Wrapped day.
Recapping your top artist, songs and genre of the year, it’s the best way to judge your friends’ music taste. If you have Apple Music, you become extremely defensive because of FOMO. After surveying the student body and seeing their responses, here’s what your top artist this year says about you.
If your top artist is Kanye West, Kid Laroi, or Playboi Carti:
You locked yourself in your room when Donda came out and posted it on your story. You either play basketball or football and will kill to sit courtside at an NBA game. You have unironically said “Sheesh”, “The Boys” and “No Cap”. You have five hoodies and nothing else in your closet.
If your top artist is Phoebe Bridgers:
Is everything okay? Would you like another oat milk latte to cope? You have definitely carried a tote bag around with nothing in it because it made you feel like the main character. You have a Goodreads account.
If your top artist is Billie Eilish or Lana Del Ray:
Again, are you okay? You have extremely specific playlist names. Your top mood was probably Sad. You will not listen to anything over 80 BPM.
If your top artist is Taylor Swift:
We are best friends now. Please hit me up with your album rankings or theories. You cried listening to ATW10 and your biggest fear is trying to get concert tickets. You will murder Jake Gyllenhaal if you ever saw him.
If your top artist is Tyler, The Creator, The Weeknd or Frank Ocean:
You have attempted to gatekeep them from your friends. You have an extremely strong opinion of their best and worst albums. You are well-dressed and have an insanely well-decorated room. You have either a collage wall or LED lights. You are still angry at the Grammys for their snub.
If your top artist is Arctic Monkeys:
You roll your eyes when someone says their favourite album is AM. You are deeply in love with Alex Turner. You own a pair of Doc Martens and refuse to go anywhere without eyeliner. And their best songs are Suck It And See and Crying Lightning go argue with the wall.
If your top artist is any member of One Direction(or even One Direction!):
They’re not getting back together. I’m sorry too. You turned post notifications on just in case though. You love thrifting and will watch anything Harry Styles is in.You have a ranking of which member is your favourite.
If your top artist is BTS or any other Kpop band:
You either keep this a closely guarded secret or are extremely proud of it. You have a bias. You have tried to learn Korean. You follow at least six fan accounts and watch their interviews on a daily basis. You are on stan Twitter.
If your top artist is Coldplay:
Please send me a three-paragraph essay explaining why. I have only ever heard their music at Gap and Applebees. You are either the first to go or the sole survivor in a zombie apocalypse. However, this is a bold opinion so I respect it.
If your top artist is Pink Floyd or anything before the 80s:
You have complained about how current pop music all sounds the same. You hate TikTok with a burning passion. You will gouge your eyes out before listening to Justin Bieber.
If your top artist is Olivia Rodrigo or Conan Gray:
You drink iced coffee—and iced coffee only—every day. Your top genre was definitely Indie. You go on late-night drives and have a playlist called either “coming of age” or “vibes”. You love painting your nails and spend too much time on TikTok.
If your top artist is My Chemical Romance or any other emo band:
I’m going to be honest I didn’t believe this was still a thriving genre in 2021. Props to you! You had a Hot Topic and black eyeliner phase. Your social media platform of choice is Tumblr.
If your top artist is Cardi B, Doja Cat, Lizzo or Megan Thee Stallion:
I just know you’re the life of the party. You are extroverted, optimistic and love to be around people. You believe in astrology or crystals and are here for a good time.