‘Tis Winter season, Holidays are here, and what better to do than turn on the TV with some Christmas cheer?
But, alas, our lives are busy; the pressures of school are cumbersome, and during the foggy days of Stevenson, free time is scarce. Whether it be an epicly long essay, a nonsensical calculus quiz, or just the heft of an accumulating workload, nobody really has time to cozy up in their bed with some hot chocolate and watch the entire three hours of It’s a Wonderful Life. Life is chaotic enough! A three hour black & white reflection on gratitude will do no service to any poor soul who endeavors to sit through it.
Therein lies the perfection of Christmas Specials: episodes of television that build on the themes of the Holiday season and depict a traditionally Christmas-esque narrative, without indulging in ridiculous length and needless intricacy. They revel in simplicity of concept, and during the Holiday season, what more does anyone need? So to you delivered are the best holiday gifts of all: the top four holiday specials!
Starting off strong with a piece that is equally heartwarming and disturbing: South Park’s “A Woodland Critter Christmas.” The opening eight minutes of the episode are genuinely warm and friendly, fitting into the Christmas vibe perfectly. It follows “a kid in a red poof-ball hat,” Stan, when he finds a series of talking woodland “critters” whom he befriends. The tale that Stan participates in resembles that of the birth of Christ, as he helps them construct a manger to house an immaculately pregnant Porcupiney the Porcupine.
Yet, conflict emerges when Porcupiney’s life is threatened by the “evil mountain lion” who lives atop the highest mountain and has historically eaten every virgin Christmas critter. So, in an act of divine bravery, Stan kills the mountain lion, in front of her three baby cubs, who immediately proclaim that they will all starve to death without the protection of their mother.
In this instant, the episode abandons its audacious but tonally gladdening narrative, as it ascends into the realm of traditional South Park episodes. The rest of the episode consists of a compilation of gruesome violence, hedonistic sexuality, and just the tiniest hint of Satanism. All the best makings of a great Christmas special, right? While it may be uncouth, and at times utterly perturbing, it also manages to convey those familiar themes of friendship, love, and a woman’s right to choose.
Year after year, season after season, The Office upped the ante with each successive tragic Christmas special. Season 3’s “Benihana Christmas” follows a broken Michael Scott (Steve Carell) as he navigates the burden of middle-aged sexuality, season 5’s “Moroccan Christmas” deals with personal manipulation, infidelity, and alcoholism, and season 7’s “Classy Christmas” chronicles a merry journey into paranoia and insanity, as Dwight (Rainn Wilson) terrorizes Jim (John Krasinski) in increasingly sadistic ways. But despite its continued production of masterpieces, nothing compares to the original: “Office Christmas Party.”
The episode follows two central plotlines: the ongoing "will-they won’t-they" of Jim and Pam (Jenna Fischer) and his hopes to tell her how he feels about her, and Michael’s impromptu switch from a game of Secret Santa to a game of Yankee-swap (Nasty Christmas, White Elephant) after receiving a gift that he absolutely hated — a home knit mitten. What ensues is a spectacular display of the worst — and best — of the human condition, tracing the journey of the characters as the evening devolves into a pretty fun night. Foreshadowing the comedic gold that later seasons of The Office end up striking, “Office Christmas Party” is a brilliant, twisted mix of the apparent flaws of the human condition, and the beauty that can be found in that.
So far, the tone struck might have favored catharsis over quality. However, this special is an exception. When one thinks of Christmas specials, corny, audacious, and often genre-bending episodes of sitcoms generally come to mind. Episodes that, while funny, sacrifice narrative complexity and even cohesion in order to achieve awkward jokes and screwball gags. The Bear’s Christmas special, “Fishes," is not that. Rather, it is a gut-wrenching and intense episode that explores addiction, bipolar disorder, and trauma in a shrewd yet sympathetic way.
The episode follows the Berzatto family and their extensive roster of friends during a particularly heated and dramatic Christmas dinner, taking place years before the events of the show. For those who do not know, within the context of the series, the Berzatto family are known for two distinct things: being excellent chefs, and having generational bipolar disorder and severe anxiety. This episode depicts these “quirks” honestly, presenting the human flaws through an unobscured lens, and allowing the extremity of each situation to grow on its own.
Focusing primarily on the two main bipolar characters, Donna and Michael, their intertwining stories provide a feast of suspense with a brutally climactic finale. Juxtaposing the warm Christmas energy with the tense and violent characterization and the human flaws, this episode manages to be a truly unique take on the Christmas special trope. While far from the most comfortable and traditionally “cozy” Christmas specials, there are few specials as deeply human as “Fishes.”
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Christmas special, “A Very Sunny Christmas,” immediately strips away all of the heartwarming themes that define most Christmas specials — generosity, kindness, friendship, family, and love — and replaces them with the themes that make up the backbone of the show: selfishness, cruelty, depravity, and of course, hate. There is no subtlety in this thematic subversion either, as the episode opens with Danny Devito’s character, Frank, buying himself presents and subsequently flaunting the gifts that his two children desire most in the world: a Gucci handbag (which he uses to carry Cheetos) and a Lamborghini (the interior of which he destroys in order to taunt his megalomaniac son, Dennis). Who says Christmas is dead? In an attempt to reprimand their Father, the two children stage a sort of immersive A Christmas Carol in which they send Frank through his ghost of Christmas Past, his ghost of Christmas Present, and ghost of Christmas Future, hoping for him to learn the spirit of Christmas and give them their rightful car and handbag. The adventure comes to a conclusion when they try to bury Frank alive — again, a bit of a distortion of the classic Christmas spirit.
Simultaneous to this is the adventure of the other two members of the titular gang: Mac and Charlie. Appalled at the absolute disfiguration of Christmas that Dennis, Dee, and Frank all commit, they take a nostalgic journey into past Christmases, hoping to rediscover Christmas spirit. However, in a (not so) shocking twist, they end up learning that their memories of a perfect Christmas pasts are not all that they seem — Mac was unknowingly stealing from the other kids in the neighborhood, and Charlie’s mom was a prostitute who “escorted” a series of men dressed in Santa costumes. Fittingly, Charlie does get his retribution — in his own way — as he bites off the ear of a shopping mall Santa.
But, Christmas is not lost, because in a particularly heartwarming turn of events, Frank gets hit by a car. So, in the epitome of Christmas miracles, this act of divine intervention sends Frank into a bizarre claymation dream in which he is disemboweled by his children, teaching him the meaning of Christmas. Despite the hardships that our protagonists undergo, all of them come out the other side with a new understanding of what Christmas should be, effectively making the perfect Christmas special.
The holiday season is often a tough one. It is frantic, stressful, and sometimes lacks any cheer whatsoever. But holiday’s should be a time for loved ones to come together, and television specials provide the perfect (perfectly brief) opportunity to bring everyone together to enjoy the Holiday spirit. All this without leaving enough time to allow those many present tensions to come to a head. So cozy up with friends and family, and go watch an episode of South Park.
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